No Planting Among Thorns

Jeremiah 4:3

New English Translation (NET)

³ Yes, the Lord has this to say
to the people of Judah and Jerusalem:
“Like a farmer breaking up hard unplowed ground,
you must break your rebellious will and make a new beginning;
just as a farmer must clear away thorns lest the seed is wasted,
you must get rid of the sin that is ruining your lives.

Close your eyes.  Imagine two fields side by side.  One is plowed up into straight furrows.  The soil is dark and rich and fertile and receptive to the warm spring rain.  The neighboring field lies fallow.  It is unplowed, untended.  It looks cold and hard and useless.  Now imagine those fields months later.  One is green and full of life and promise.  The other is dotted with sparse patches of stubborn crab grass and weeds.  Brambles have grown up and taken over.

Francis Chan, in his book, Crazy Love, references The Parable of the Sower. (Mathew 13:1-18) and makes this comment to Christians –“Don’t assume you are the good soil”

In December, shortly after Christmas, a beautiful sister in Christ went home to the arms of Jesus after a long and grueling battle with cancer.  Janet Pate was the good soil.  We were in a bible study together for years and every time she prayed, every time she testified, every time she opened her mouth, I wanted to be like her.  She was the woman who could quote scripture from memory to fit any trial or triumph.  She blogged her journey with cancer and had followers from not only around the country but also around the world.  She videoed shaving her head when her hair began to fall out from the chemotherapy and she thanked God that the chemo was working as evidenced by the hair she was losing.  Janet was the embodiment of the scriptural directive “In everything give thanks.”  She praised the sovereignty of God even in her worst days and anyone who had ever met her, called her “friend”.

I sat in the Celebration of Life service for Janet and cried; not just a few stray tears, I cried to the point of feeling drained when it was all over.  I cried not just for the loss of her on earth or for the sorrow and pain her family and friends would feel in her absence.  I cried because I knew that I was not the good soil and I wanted to be.  I wanted to plow up the fallow ground of my heart more than ever.  I was ready to dig up brambles and thorns that I had been unwilling to pull up previously.  I thought about my friend, her relationship, her peace in living and in dying, and I saw how her life meant something.  It meant something for Jesus.  It meant something real.  Janet left a legacy of not just believing in a god but of believing and trusting and loving God.

...So I prayed.  I asked God to help me get rid of the junk in my way.  I asked Him to get me started.  He is faithful to answer when we are repentant and seeking.  I remembered something that Carrie Hurley had said to me on our McPherson Mission Trip.  So I called her.  I asked her to pray with me and in The Parlor she and Jenna Hall, prayed with me while I poured out so much useless junk (anger, unforgiveness, fear) that had been harbored, unconfessed and unresolved for so long.  I was so nervous, confessing aloud my failures and sins. These young women came along side me and helped me begin the process with God to “plow up the fallow ground.”  There is more to this story.  I’ll share that in the coming posts but today I end with this encouragement.  “The journey of a thousand steps begins with one” as the saying goes.  Just because you are not good soil today does not mean that you cannot be good soil.  You have to be willing to admit your condition, confess you sin, and give God the plow.  The process of plowing, breaking, cutting, stripping away…I’m not going to lie, it hurts in the beginning, but in light of God’s word in Isaiah 30, particularly verses 1, 9 and 12-15, lying fallow, holding onto those familiar sins, refusing to submit to God’s will, brings sorrow and bareness.  He promises “In return and rest you will be saved; quietness and trust will be your strength."  Don’t drag it out.  Break up your unplowed ground so that the good seed will not be lost among thorns and do it today.

Isaiah 30 - http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Isaiah%2030&version=TLB

I Just Want To Tell You

Condemnation, guilt, uncertainty, regret, fear, anger, depression..Do you ever have that sinking place in the pit of your stomach where one or all of the above mentioned emotions nestles in and makes its home?  This blog post is going to be a bit of a rambler ladies, so please bear with me.  Last fall when I stepped in to oversee and write for this blog, I thought it was the perfect place for me to minister and encourage women.  It was after all, an answer to a long lifted prayer.  It was an opportunity to serve in a way that seemed natural to me and I had a very clear idea of where I thought it should go.

In my mind a blog is something like an online journal where the blogger discusses something she is learning, in this case walking with the Holy Spirit.  It would be a place to connect with other women, a community of sorts; a place to share and get feedback and perhaps help someone along the way as The Lord directs.  I had hopes for the blog.  Here is where I messed up.  I didn't pray for God to make it His blog.  I didn't pray for Him to give me wisdom and insight, not just in the topics and timing but also in the process itself.  As a result technical difficulties, business of life and unresolved and unconfessed issues in my own life resulted in road blocks, frustration and failure.  The blog has set completely silent for two months.  The enemy is at my shoulder and his comments go something like this.  "Loser.  What made you think you would have anything useful to contribute? How did you end up in a group of women who are organized and talented, they can put together huge events and you can't even figure out how to get a blog post out on a regular basis.  You are worthless and when they see just how useless you are you are going to be humiliated."

That's the first part of this story.

I have come to know in the last 5 weeks or so that God is still writing my story.  The enemy tells me that I am a failure but God assures me that I am a work in progress.  He has been writing new chapters like crazy, this Author of my Life, and it has been an exciting process.   Prayer has become more than just a non-specific "check in the box" process for me. I've learned that prayer really does change things and it really does change me.   I want to tell you about it but it is too much for one entry.  So I plan to share it over the next several posts.  This blog will not always be about me and my personal relationship with Him.  As I tell you what He is doing in my life, I hope you will be blessed, I hope you will share with others who may need to hear that they are not alone in their desire and struggle to be God's woman.  Women like me need to know that the "seemingly perfect christian sister" I admire didn't just pop out of a box like that. I want to hear how she got where she is.  I want to be like her .  We need encouragement and we need to share our burdens and our victories.  We need to help each other in the ever constant battle against the enemy for our hearts
and minds and joy.  We need to walk together and "leave no one behind."  I have so much to tell you but I want to do it one step at a time.  Tomorrow I want to tell you about my friend Janet and how her testimony in life and in dying was a catalyst to send me seeking my own Solemn Assembly even before I knew that FBC was planning one of its own.

For today, I leave you with this scripture  - Romans 8:1-2 written in the Message version says " With the arrival of Jesus, The Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved (our condemnation).  those who enter into Christ's being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud.  A new power is in operation.  The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.

There is freedom from the emotions that weigh you down.  Let's talk about  The Spirit of life in Christ.  See you tomorrow.